Humor

600 Million Dollars

I almost missed this opportunity for $600,000,000 …. Google’s spam engines got it. But I found it. Dear Sir With all sincerity and humility it is with deep pains i write you this message of wishful assistance to my predicament. I am Raymond Taylor the only son of last wife to the former president of Liberia who was asked by unanimous decision by the international community to step down from the corridors of power .…

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Humor

The Gay Cowboy…

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the…

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Humor

Australian word competition

The following were results for an Oz-words Competition where Entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by only one letter, and supply a new and witty definition. Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole. Bludgie: a partner who doesn’t work but is kept as a pet. Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact. Fair drinkum: good quality Aussie wine. Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle. Mateshit: all your…

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Humor

Decide whom to marry?

Written by kids DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. – Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. – Kristen,…

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Humor

Mexican Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico . While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?” The waiter replied, “Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this…

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Humor

Different ways of doing the horizontal rhumba

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX Two men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?” “Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.” “Social Security sex?” “Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!” LOUD SEX A wife went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.” “My dear,” the…

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Humor

Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.” “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that,” the little boy replied The priest looked up from his book and smiled. “I am the Father of many” he replied. “My Dad…

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Humor

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptise cats. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. Never hold…

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